January

It would serve/feed my flesh well to argue/fight with you now, what should I do ? Im in Love with you. This fight is bigger than what is before us, all this bickering and petty selfishness is just a symptom of the sickness that eats with in us, the real fight is within , the battle between two dogs I once heard in a song, the fight between fleah and spirit, this is where the true battle is. Im not fighting with you I will not anymore, this war will be won and The One will keep score, I choose what side I will be on I will not give in to impulse of anger and direct my sword at flesh but will draw upon myself the sword to cut my flesh. This stance of mine does not belittle my oun accountability and wipe my slate clean in your eyes but I will not give up. I will not take the sword from my neck.
1/13/09
Vain ambition and selfish coilition, our weaknesses sensce eachother. Comfort is taken from unity of their darknesses they rival in the moment , their stregnth willl gain with impulse. “How do you know you are alive” I ask myself, the pain of death in my flesh is what keeps my eyes open to the light, the only thing to hold on to , my sword.
1/14/09
You told me , My Lord that in weakness I will be made strong. Make me blind deff and dumb a quadrapaliegic. Make me to be zero and you the only thing my eyes can see. You have given me so much Joy , my King, I want to smile when you smile and laughf when you laughf and cry with the depths of your sorrow as you do for your lost, I want to pray effectivly with righteousness a fervent prayer that avails much and I want to see you smile at me with eyes that say “well done good and faithfull servent” I want to serve with a happy heart, I want to Love with the fullness that you spoke about in your time here on earth. I want all vain ambitions to go away from me and all pride that trips my feet, I want the armor to be on me at all times and your peace that passes all understanding to always be a light in my life, You Lord all I want is all You are , Your Word, You. You told me “ there willl be a day when I will want no more” I believe You and all your promises though I dont know all of them yet, ..... this I cry......Teach me your precepts, teach me all your ways